“Have you ever considered that maybe it’s your obsessive behavior that caused the issue to start with?”
“Never.”
The prison counsellor looked at Nadia closely. He noticed the crow’s feet wrinkles at the edge of her eyes. She had spent most of her life smiling. Smiles justified the honor of those telltale lines.
Nadia caught his eye and she smiled at him. He continued, “Well, you know what all the studies say about how monsters are created.”
“Studies, probably done by men, have no clue about a mother’s love.”
“So, what’s your explanation?”
“Some people are born monsters. Only love can reform their behaviors.”
“And you have always been loving. Haven’t you?”
“I try. My other children turned out, well, successful.”
“Do you think that he didn’t get enough attention? Maybe he was abused by his brothers?”
“Hogwash. Just because he doesn’t fit your assumptions doesn’t mean that he should. Don’t look for something that’s not there.”
“I’m assigned to counsel your son. What do you suggest? How will I help him if I don’t have context for his behaviors?”
“Listen to him. Then over time, build your own framework of understanding.”
“There may not be much time.” The prison counselor looked down at the metal surface of the table between them. After a few moments, Nadia took the lead.
“May I see my son now?”
“Yes. Of course.” The counselor motioned towards the guards who brought in a handsome young man. He wore an orange jump suit. The shackles on his hands were joined to the ones on his ankles with a long chain. As he shuffled into the room, his range of motion was extremely limited.
The counselor stood up to release his chair to the prisoner who entered the room. “The guards will stay in the room with you.”
“That won’t be necessary. If he has yet to kill his mother in his first twenty-one years on God’s good earth, I don’t think he will try now.”
“Jefferson.”
“Counselor.” Jefferson caught the man’s eye and smiled at him. The look was penetrating and disarmed the hardened prison counselor’s affect.
“Excuse me,” the Counselor looked at the floor as he walked past the young man.
“Jefferson,” Nadia addressed her son with his full name. “Don’t make the man nervous. You always were a flirt.”
“And it got me into some trouble, didn’t it?”
“No. I think you got yourself into trouble.” Nadia thought about her next words as Jefferson sat down across from her at the table. “No one forced you to turn your back on God.”
“Maybe, a mother’s love was all I needed,” Jefferson made eye contact with his mother.
“I won’t let that demon in you flirt with me.”
“Still can’t accept it?” Jefferson challenged his mother. “Even after sitting through the trial? Seeing all that graphic evidence.”
“Things they claim you did. But that wasn’t my son. That was the demon inside of you.”
“Convenient, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“You can have a perfect son, if a demon is responsible.”
“Demon or not, I only see your potential for good.”
“Well, you can stop now. After they give me the death penalty, you will be relieved of your evil son.”
“Never!”
“Death is death.”
“It is not the end, and you know that. God assigned you to me. I am responsible to be your mother through all the growth and trials and time.”
“You’ve done a good job.” Jefferson made eye contact with his mother again. He spoke more slowly with an invisible force behind his next words. “I release you.”
“What God has begun only God can finish.”
“I won’t appeal it.”
“I hope that they won’t give you the death penalty.”
“Why not?”
“More time to pour love into your life and mind. I may fail to reach you, but I won’t fail at trying.”
“At what? Motherhood?” Jefferson chuckled. “You have five other, normal children. Each a success that you can be proud to call your own.”
“You are my special son. A unique assignment from God.”
“I’ve heard enough about your God today.” Jefferson stood up. “Guards, I’m ready to return to my cell.”
“I’ll visit again.”
“No need.”
“Look at yourself, there’s obviously a need.”
“Yes.” Jefferson looked at Nadia and smiled. “A subtle admission that her son, a son given to her by God, is not perfect.”
“I’ll meet with you again to help you to let go of me.” Jefferson shuffled back towards the door.
Nadia sat still in her chair even after Jefferson left the room. The prison counselor came back in and sat across from her again.
“May I ask you a question?”
Nadia flicked her finger at him, indicating that he could ask.
“Why?”
“You counsel these prisoners and you ask why?”
“I’m asking you why. Why you continue to love a monster, a demon according to you, that grew up in your own home.”
“It’s the wrong question counselor.”
“Enlighten me. What is the right question.”
“How? How can I serve the God within this person in front of me. How can I rise to the level of sacrifice given on the cross, while maintaining my responsibilities to my other children.”
The prison counselor avoided looking at Nadia. She stared at him. “Now, I will ask you. You are not a parent, are you?”
“Not yet. No.”
“May I suggest that you get yourself right with God before you become a parent. Perhaps a demon is born into your family. The purpose might be to strengthen you or to break you. I decided to love unconditionally. You might execute my son, but my responsibility to his soul continues. I will pray for him until I die and beyond. If I can’t believe in redemption for him, then I can’t imagine redemption for myself. His mother.”
The prison counselor stood back up. “Let me escort you out.”
Nadia stood and they left the room together, quietly.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6 ESV