“Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full in me.” – John 16:24
Discipleship is relationship. To receive, to know, and to accept Christ Jesus fully, each disciple must develop a personal connection to Christ. When making new friends, it’s necessary to communicate with them. Prayer is a form of communicating with God.
When an introduction is made between two people, the person introducing them generally offers initial guidance. A simple statement such as “You are both super fans of the team. I think you’ll enjoy supporting the team together.” Hopefully, when someone introduces another to Christ, they will offer a few suggestions on how-to pray in addition to standard wording such as the Lord’s Prayer or saying grace before meals.
Creation follows laws. Prayer is also subject to law. The three pillars of effective prayer are:
1. Concentration
2. Consistency
3. Surrender.
Consider each of the three pillars in greater detail.
Focused Concentration
Friends have impactful discussions when they listen closely to each other, speak clearly and elaborate on their ideas. To lose a friend, just ignore him.
Building a prayer life is rewarding. Prayer requires concentrated attention, like a good conversation with a friend, on Christ and clarity on the purpose of the prayer. If the disciple prays without intention, the prayer often remains unanswered.
Think about when one is searching for a new job, which of the following approaches works best. Reach out to all dear friends and ask, “if you know of anyone hiring someone like me, please let me know” or reach out to a specific person who works at a company that has an appropriate position and ask “would you please forward my resume to the hiring manager”?
Like a friend, God responds best to clarity. Give God your attention and you will receive his response in return.
Daily Consistency
Human life is routine. Little daily cycles that build into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. A prayerful life requires a daily commitment.
A diet that is followed only one out of seven days in a week is unlikely to help one to lose weight. A musician cannot hope to improve his skill by playing an instrument by practicing once per week. No amateur nor professional athlete builds, maintains or refines their sport by one short weekly practice. To develop skills takes hours of daily commitment. Even casual relationships such as those made with co-workers are strengthened by interacting five out of seven days. Those who have a spouse or a live-in partner might test the importance of daily consistency by ignoring their significant other for six out of seven days. Less interaction results in weak relationships at best.
Pray consistently. Upon waking up and before lying down to sleep are the best places to start. Start small with a few minutes twice a day. However, build upon this habit by lengthening the time spent in prayer. Twenty minutes twice a day will produce a new level of personal peace and self-control. Like any dietician, musician, athlete, or close friend will tell you, the disciple reaps results from whatever they prioritize daily.
A standard memorized prayer, such as the Lord’s Prayer, is a desirable component of all prayers. However, the words should not be repeated like a parrot. Instead, the meaning of each word or phrase should be contemplated when spoken. Apply every prayer to the anticipated activities for the day in the morning and address the past events experienced before in the evening.
Giving the day to the Lord in advance and processing the events of the day in the light of God results in the peace that produces joy.
Unconditional Surrender
Humans want to own things and to enjoy sensual experiences. Even as one advances in Christian discipleship, it is natural to pray for one’s perceived needs and desires. A bigger house, a new car, more income, a loving spouse, celebrations for life’s milestones, and more. Personal desires can become endless if one is driven by selfish pursuits and is focused on worldly outcomes.
A benefit of being specific in one’s prayers is for introspection. When is the prayer granted or when does it seem to be ignored. Christ sees the big picture of our entire lifetime and has the human experience to understand what is best. Often God wants to give his faithful disciple something better than what has been requested. God usually aligns personal desire with one’s actual needs and with the needs of the greater community.
In other words, be clear in the ask but surrender the result to Christ.
Take a complex situation such as praying for a miracle for someone who is terminally ill. There are many factors involved. Whether the ill person is young or old, or anywhere in between, where there is life there is hope.
Praying for one challenged by illness or injuries, make the specific request desired – a complete healing – but surrender by stating “Your will be done.” Only God knows the entire story of a person’s life and how the next phase of their discipleship should unfold.
Take all needs, all desires, all sorrows and trials, but especially take joy and gratitude to God in prayer. As the relationship grows, the disciple realizes that only God knows what is best. The clarity of the specifics of a selfish desire such as a certain sized home in a specific neighborhood becomes replaced with the peace of praying for one’s needs. For the advanced disciple, even the prayer for needs is eventually replaced by four words, “Thy will be done.”
Effective Prayer
Freedom from the misery of the trials of life is the outcome of a successful prayer life. Unending desires are replaced by thankfulness for what has been given. The difficulties of providing for oneself and others are transformed into a childlike trust in His provision with the realization that all is borrowed temporarily from the divine storehouse. Obligations and responsibilities cease to burden the disciple’s thoughts because all is done in service to Christ alone.
But if anyone loves God, he is known by God. – 1 Corinthians 8:3
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35
The three pillars of effective prayer include concentration on the aspects of god, daily consistency, and surrender to the outcome. Add the qualities of friendship such as a genuine interest in God, appreciation for time spent together, and adoration of positive attributes and the peace and joy of unconditional love becomes increasingly manifest in the Christian’s life.