“Why does he do that?” Cassandra watched as the golden retriever licked a mess up from the linoleum floor.
“Do what?” Miller was not interested in his girlfriend’s question. She had a track record of criticizing his training of Butch. She even hated the name Butch. No golden retriever should be named Butch, she told him.
“Lick up his vomit before I can wipe it up. My cat doesn’t do that.”
“Your cat only spits up fur balls.”
“True. But it’s gross.” Cassandra scratched Butch behind the ears with her right hand as she squatted down and wiped the floor with a paper towel in her left hand.
“So are fur balls.”
“True.” Cassandra threw out the dirty paper towel and thoroughly washed her hands under running water in the sink.
“I’m going to order better food for Butch. If that doesn’t help, I’ll take him to the vet for an examination.”
“Good idea. Are you ordering that Farm Boy brand, or getting something from the grocery store?”
“I don’t think that is the right name. Are you talking about the brand two gay guys dreamt up because they wanted to treat their pets more like children?”
“That’s mean, and a bit homophobic.”
“Whatever. I’m not ordering delivery. I will pick up better food at the grocery store.” Miller put on a jacket and touched Cassandra on the shoulder. “I have to head to work. Are you good?”
“I’m leaving soon too,” Cassandra stretched her neck upward and gave Miller a short kiss.
He turned and left the apartment. He briefly wondered if he would notice if Cassandra simply left. What would be his reaction if he returned after work and she was gone.
Miller sat across a café table from his friend Emilio as they enjoyed a morning break at the coffee shop.
“Spill it,” Emilio smiled at his buddy. They had met during freshman year in college and continued to grow closer over the decade since. “I know you have something serious on your mind this morning.”
“It’s the third time,” Miller offered an emotionless statement.
“Well, buddy, I’m counting twelfth time since I met you and we became wing men.”
“That’s unfair. Freshman year doesn’t count. This is the third time I’ve tried to live with my woman. And it’s quickly becoming the third time that it hasn’t worked out.”
“I love you man and you are a terrific person, but I have to ask you to consider that the issue might be with you.”
“What have I done?”
Emilio leaned back and his chair and let Miller think about it for a few minutes.
“Well? Tell me why you would say that.” Miller was sincere.
“I think you might have the wrong expectations for a stable and long-term relationship.”
Miller shook his head. “Asking a girl to not criticize my dog, to communicate and to be exclusive is asking too much?”
“Is Cassandra cheating on you?”
“Probably.”
“Do you have any proof that Cassandra is cheating on you?”
“No. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t.”
“Is she hiding her schedule and plans from you?”
“No.”
“So that leaves Butch. Does she let Butch sleep in bed with you two?”
“Yes.”
“Then I don’t see the issue.” Emilio leaned forward to make eye contact with Miller. “What has it been? Three months? And you’re letting paranoia get the best of you.”
“You want me to be honest with myself?”
“Yes. Please share.”
“Maybe I’m more of a polygamist than a serial monogamist.”
“I thought you wanted a family.”
“I do.”
“Well, Jenny and I have been married for three years now. I have not yet met any woman, not back in my dating years nor amongst Jenny’s friends who wants a man who wants multiple women.”
“I think they are out there.”
“Sister wives is a reality series, not a satisfying lifestyle.”
“How do you know that?”
“Have you watched the show?”
“No.”
“Well, you might start there.”
“All those shows are scripted for drama.”
“And your life?” Emilio looked at Miller who gave him a blank stare. “Is your life scripted for drama? You certainly seem to find it easily.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Emilio took a deep breath. “Here’s the reality I see. I see Cassandra who is one of the sweetest girls you have ever dated. She truly appears to be in love with you. Even Jenny said that Cassandra said nothing bad about you. No complaints.”
“She was complaining about Butch barfing after his breakfast this morning.”
“You should try some new food.”
“I’m going to pick up something better tonight on the way home from work.”
“What else is bothering you about her?”
“I feel drained at home.”
“Are you really going to sabotage yourself a third time?”
“I don’t really think I’m doing this to myself.”
“Aren’t you?”
Miller drank the last swallow from his coffee and looked at the time on his phone. He stood as he stated, “It’s time to get back to work.”
Without standing up, Emilio reached out and grasped Miller’s wrist. “I love you. Jenny loves you. I believe Cassandra loves you. Can you love yourself enough to settle down?”
Miller pulled his arm away from Emilio.
“I love myself enough to not settle for something that doesn’t work for me.”
“Take some time to define what you really want from your life. Consider what love looks like, feels like and how it is expressed romantically.”
“Thank you. Our conversation has helped me decide.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’ll tell Cassandra it’s over when I get home tonight.”
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
Proverbs 26:11 ESV